Kamilah Alegeh is the second daughter of a former President of the Nigerian Bar Association, Augustine Alegeh (SAN). She tells ALEXANDER OKERE how her father’s career and lifestyle have impacted on his children

Can you tell us about yourself?

I am a 23-year-old lawyer practising in Nigeria. I completed my undergraduate law degree at the University of Exeter, UK. I have three siblings. My older sister is Anita Salma Alegeh. She’s 25 years old and she completed her undergraduate law degree at the University of Bristol, UK. She is a lawyer and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in International Children’s Rights. My immediate younger sister is Ochuwa Alegeh; she is 20 years old and currently pursuing her undergraduate law degree. My younger brother is Oshioke Alegeh; he is 11 years old and in secondary school.

What was it like growing up with your father?

Growing up with my father was an interesting and enjoyable experience. He is a very attentive father and has always shown interest in our lives. I remember that he was always travelling. So, sometimes, we did not get to see him for a couple of days. He would tell us his travel itinerary; sometimes, he would be scheduled for meetings in three different states in one day.

He would still make all appointments and I always found that intriguing. He’d leave the house with a brief case, without extra clothes, attend the meetings in different states and, sometimes, come back home. His strength is one of his most admirable characters. Nevertheless, he always found the time to spend quality time with us which ensured that we had an amazing childhood with him and my mother. He always took us out shopping in supermarkets and to eat in restaurants.

Did he pamper his children?

Pamper is subjective. However, at face value, we had basically everything we needed. He ensured that we were more than comfortable and satisfied. We were given opportunities to a lot of beautiful things, but we were also taught the value of hard work. Our parents have brought us up to be content with our lives.

Would you say he is overprotective of his children?

Yes, I would say he is overprotective.

How does he do that?

For instance, when we go out late, he waits up for us to return even when we are not in the same country. He is just like every other dad, traditional in a sense and concerned about our well-being. He tries to make us understand how to protect our individual reputations and always gives us life tips and lessons. He also ensures that we are mindful of the company we keep. However, one thing he is overtly overprotective about is our security. Regardless, he still encourages us to be independent and discover our individual identities.

How does he discipline his children or express his disapproval?

He is very willing to communicate his disapproval; therefore, conversations are always the starting point. However, he does not communicate at all when he is very upset and completely disapproves of our actions. Additionally, he uses the fact that we deeply respect him to his advantage, in the sense that he does not have to overtly discipline us because he knows we value his opinions.

How will you describe your dad?

My dad is a paragon of all that is best in a man, yet he is not perfect. He knows that he is not perfect and, as such, he is open to correction and is willing to learn and acquire more knowledge. He is an honorable man who has lived a life to be emulated. He is a smart, confident, charismatic, generous (sometimes, too generous), stern but kind-hearted, very attentive and focused.

He is the type of person that will tell you the truth, but still give you advice to aid the situation. He is very principled and well-mannered. He believes that everyone should have principles which are the foundational basis of their decisions.

My dad is blindly supportive, yet he is my biggest critique. He is the type of person that you would need to have all your facts together before you approach him. This is because he is able to ask the right questions to get you to evaluate things. He is liberal and modern, yet traditional. He is in tune with the latest trends of the 21st century, be it tech, food or fashion. He is a multi-faceted man. My dad is a great man.

As a former NBA president and popular lawyer, has his name opened doors for you?

As a general rule, we try our best to be discreet about being related to him, so it is actually the opposite. We go out of our way to make sure that we do not get favours because he is our dad. Sometimes, that means having to work twice as hard without the recognition. On the other hand, even without trying, it creates certain expectations – positive and negative. The point we have come to realise, however, is that our name goes before us. It is highly likely that doors have been opened because of my father’s status but I may not have realised it because it is not something I seek.

As a busy lawyer, how does he spend time with his kids?

My father’s schedule is very busy and unpredictable. However, he makes time for his family. We spend time together on family vacations, going for family events, usual family bonding time at home, phone and video calls when we are not together, family outings and other activities. We also worship and listen to gospel music together, which is always a very beautiful moment with him.

One of the things he likes to do is take us on spontaneous outings – lunch or dinner or shopping in the middle of the week or at weekends. Food is a big part of our family bonding culture; we enjoy eating at different restaurants and exploring new cultures and cuisines.

Many Nigerians know him as a popular lawyer. What are the unique fatherly features or habits he displays at home that many don’t know about?

My dad is very playful! We have such a good time watching TV, planning trips, and doing other activities I mentioned earlier. He always has witty comebacks whenever we tease him and it’s always refreshing to see that practising law has not removed his sense of humor. Oh! When he travels, and we fail to call to check up on him, sometimes, because we are unaware that he has travelled, he jokingly says that he will not pick up any of our calls.

So, we have to take time out to apologise for that. He also always tells us that he is very emotional and so needs to be treated with care. Growing up, whenever my sisters and I would argue, we had a song and a routine, created by my dad, to perform as a unique way to apologise to each other. In hindsight, it is one of the funniest things he has done. He is also very spontaneous! He could come home with gifts or food or ice-cream and it’s just always nice to be at the receiving end of his fatherly care.

Did your dad influence your career choice or those of your sisters?

The fact that two of my siblings and I have studied law always causes people to ask if we were forced into the legal profession. While deciding what career paths to take, my father was very supportive, critical and realistic. He never told us to study law; we individually decided to go into the legal profession. Nevertheless, the fact that we have seen him grow into who he is today might have had an indirect influence on our career choices.

Do you feel under pressure to excel like he has done professionally?

Honestly, the fact that I am a lawyer practising in the same country my dad has received a lot of his accolades has created the impression that I too would excel as he has. Although it is my prayer to attain achievements like he has, I always step back and tell myself that we are not the same. Both lawyers, yes, but we have had different upbringings and experiences which impact on our professional excellence. I try my best to excel in all that I do, and he has expressed his appreciation and pride in the fact that I have not given him any cause to doubt my capabilities.

What are the important pieces of advice he has given to you that have been helpful in the choices you’ve made in life?

I think the most important piece of advice my dad has given me is to focus on the work instead of worrying about the work. I remember while I was studying to pass the Nigerian Bar exams, I would go to him panicking about being behind in some courses and I would tell him that I would not be able to cover all the materials.

He always said, “The time you used to worry is the same time you could have used to complete whatever was causing you to stress out in the first place.” For me, this is really big because it completely shifts your mindset when you are in a high-pressure situation. This piece of advice has helped me overcome fear, self-doubt and anxiety.

Additionally, my dad always says to me that proper preparation produces perfect performance. In saying this, he always encouraged me to plan ahead in everything I was set to do. This phrase always plays back in my head every time I have a project or course to complete. If I prepare and plan well, my performance would positively reflect that. I recall my older sister telling me that before going off to university, our dad sat her down and had a really open and honest conversation with her about the best way to enjoy her new-found freedom.

He never gave us a long list of rules or tried to put restrictions on us but, instead, he told us stories from his own university experience and used those to point out some key life lessons. We still stand by those things today and they have never steered us wrong.

How concerned is he about his children’s relationship with members of the opposite sex, especially in their choice of a partner?

This is a funny one! My dad has always expressed the fact that he wants us to be wise in choosing our life partners. He has exhibited qualities that we too look out for in the opposite sex while choosing a life partner. Above all, our happiness and comfort remain paramount to him.

How do suitors relate with you when they know who your father is? Do they tread carefully?

I remember going on a date with a lawyer, and he had realised who my father was. He started expressing how he was so pleased with my father’s tenure in the NBA presidency and the date soon became about my dad. This one-off occasion was very weird to me and not a good sign at all. Generally, I would say that suitors respect my father and my family as a whole and except for this instance I’ve detailed above, they respect my privacy and remain very respectful to my family.

What fascinates you about your dad when you think about him in your quiet time?

In moments where I am lost in thought and I begin to think about my dad, I always remember all the stories he told me about his childhood. Stories of his upbringing and his responsibilities for his family at a very young age always come to mind. His strength, hard work and generosity fascinate me. He works tirelessly, even when he doesn’t see the returns of his work or the returns are delayed.

I also think about the schools I have attended and the other opportunities that I have been given as a result of his hard work. His generosity is also very admirable. Sometimes, I even call him ‘Father Christmas’! In general, the fact that he has had different stones thrown at him from different angles in life, but he still musters up the strength to forge ahead and excel is a life lesson in itself.

I’m also fascinated by his intelligence and resulting success. My dad is very smart; he is able to look at issues from different perspectives, aside from that of a lawyer, and deliver a coherent solution to the issue.

Speaking of stones, after his tenure as an NBA president, there were allegations of corrupt enrichment levelled against him by some lawyers. What was your dad’s view about the allegations and how did you and your siblings react to them?

My dad’s tenure as NBA president was quite a challenging time for our family. We barely saw him. I remember so many lawyers would come up to my mum during NBA events and say something along the lines of ‘thank you for donating your husband to us for two years’. In reality, that is how it really felt.

My dad gave himself completely to the office of the NBA president and worked nonstop to make so many improvements to the lives of Nigerian lawyers. He reduced the bar practising fees for young lawyers and implemented life insurance policies as well.

Amidst his hard work and efforts to reform the Nigerian Bar, it was quite surprising that someone would come up with such allegations. My dad’s reaction to this unjust accusation was the same way he deals with everything in life. His first priority is his family and, so, he told us all about it, so we wouldn’t need to hear it from outsiders and, then, he proceeded to live his life as before, submitting it all to God’s hands.

Understandably, my siblings and I were upset but we learnt from his position on the subject and, as a family, we chose to move on and allow our lives and good conduct to be the answer to any accusations.

There were also reports that the election conducted to choose his successor was highly monetised. How worried was your dad about this?

I am not exactly clear what you mean by monetised but I remember clearly that during the election season, my dad’s main concern was to introduce electronic voting as a good means to promote transparency and fairness in the election process. However, people, or I should say lawyers, are creatures of habit. I think the novelty of the system ruffled a few feathers and that is what led to reports of monetisation. I would say my dad’s legacy was exactly what he had hoped it would be, someone who worked tirelessly to reform the bar and move it forward by removing old systems that did not work well enough and replacing them with innovative practices that did.

What are your dad’s turn-offs?

My father is a very honest man and as a result of that he dislikes dishonest people. He also does not like tattoos or piercings. He also does not like inappropriate dressing.

What are the values your dad cherishes a lot?

(He cherishes) honesty, integrity, hard work and diligence. He appreciates good appearance. He likes people that are sharp, forward thinking and innovative.

What is the most memorable thing he has done for you?

My dad is very elaborate with his gestures, so this is a hard question if you know my dad well. He loves his children to the point of no return. So, there are too many amazing and memorable things he has done for me. He is big on buying really thoughtful gifts on birthdays, holidays or just for no reason at all.

However, I would say that the most memorable thing my dad has done for me was done very recently. I was going through a hard time and falling into depression – I would just withdraw from people. He noticed, and we had a conversation about it and he suggested that I needed a change of environment. We had been speaking about some International Arbitration courses because I was developing interest in the area. So, he flew me out for a short trip to attend one of the conferences and get a change of environment. This all goes back to the fact that he is a very attentive father and we appreciate him deeply for all he does.

Would you say your dad has a sense of humour?

My dad does have a good sense of humour and lightens the mood with his witty comments.

You dad is arguably handsome. How do you think he handles advances from women?

I have never witnessed this, but he remains very professional in all regards. His commitments as a husband and father remain top priority.

You dad loves cricket and football. Is he still active in the sports?

He occasionally hosts his old school mates in football matches.

What are his other hobbies?

He plays scrabble, watches sports like football, cricket, golf, tennis and Formula One (highest level of international car racing). He also loves to host people at the house. He has recently developed an interest in art and has acquired some interesting pieces in the last months. He has also become more willing and interested in taking vacations.

What kind of attire can be considered as his favourite type?

I don’t think he has favourite attire; he wears whatever he looks good in.

What is his favourite kind of music?

He enjoys all kinds of music, but he has currently developed an interest in modern Nigerian music.

What is his favourite food?

His favourite food is pounded yam and Ayozami, a native soup, which is very popular in our hometown, Auchi (in Edo State).

What is his favourite drink?

His favorite drink is Glenfiddich (a type of maltwhisky), for people aged 18 years and above.

Culled from Punch